THE ROW is a sorority slasher that follows Lala Kent as college freshmen Riley while she joins a sorority and makes some shocking discoveries about her mother. Meanwhile, there is a serial killer on the loose picking off pledges one by one as Riley’s father, Detective Cole (played by UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture) helps solve the case.
There is a lot going on in this movie. From the quick snap-cut editing, to the loud super contemporary EDM soundtrack, to the superfluous characters and plot-points, I was left wondering why certain scenes were happening and why they were so long. To be fair, and without spoilers, some of it does pay off at the climax. Though some of the action scenes didn’t really hold my attention, I had to know who the killer was and how the movie would explain it all.
The murder scenes are bloody, but I would have liked to see a little more. I was left feeling nothing from those scenes. When I watch a slasher film, or a thriller like this, I need to feel either happy this person is being killed because they suck, or really angry because they totally don’t deserve it. I also would like to feel repulsed by gore or impressed by an inventive kill. The kills in this movie just didn’t cut it.
As far a positive points go, this movie made me laugh a few times- some laughs I think were intentional, but I don’t think others were. There are an uncountable number of young ladies in bikinis and underwear, and even a few young shirtless men. But there isn’t really that much sexuality and absolutely no nudity! I would recommend it for people who want to look at ladies, but don’t want to see nudity, I guess! It’s a good time either way!